Androgyne/A Dim Image in a Mirror

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A Dim Image in a Mirror
Perspectives: ReciprocApril 2009
by AngerBunny

Every April as part of the Reciprocators' anniversary, the Perspectives series revisits its inaugural topic: participants sign up for a random draw to see who will write about whose character. 2009 was my first April with the 'Cips and while I wasn't yet doing much in the way of posting I crossed my fingers and joined in, and lucked out in having my character go to the person most familiar at the time with Ani besides myself. Bunny's Perspective clarified something I hadn't considered before, the weird sense of peace and purpose Ani feels in the RWZ, and showed some of the impact eir cave-in entrapment the previous month had on em in a way I'd neglected to.

Smoke billowed darkly against the ruined horizon of the warzone. In this place of constant turmoil, aggression, and violence Ani Hess found some strange satisfaction. E had been with the Vanguard for years now and there was a familiarity with the constant fighting. Even when everything else seemed muddled and confused, the warzone never changed. The only change was where the lines were drawn in the ebb and flow of the battlefield. Gains of inches one day to lose it a few days post. The victories and losses are plentiful and constant here. Back and forth. The ceaseless fighting meant one thing, really. Constant focus. No matter whatever else was going on in the world around em, this was a place where there was one directive. One key to success.

E let the dirt and soot fall through eir fingers as e gazed out at the wasteland before em, and shifted eir gaze to a battle further off in the distance. Immediately e felt eir muscles tense, ready to leap off, to traverse distance in space in a matter of an instant and join in the battle against the common enemy. But there was a steep dropoff. A chasm of darkness that halted forward movement in eir mind. It didn't hit often but it was still too fresh to shake off completely. Being locked away.

Away from any assistance. Buried. Without the ability to help yourself. Trapped. Alone. For minutes, hours, days, weeks... When desperation consumed time and left nothing but bleakness. When your life unraveled like smoke. You try to capture it, and hold onto it, but it slips past your fingers, contrary to your own wants. Your life leaves you; Abandons you. And what little resolve you have begs the stars, gods, earth, whatever would listen, to come to your aid. With any luck, and thankfully this time had proven for the better, you're heard. By what? You don't know. You may think you know....

E shook the thought away, looking to eir arm, still encased in plaster and gauze. Then again out to the distant battle. And then to the strands of fate e was gifted with seeing. Even when all the clues are before you, sometimes it's still hard to see what... and when.... exactly things will happen. E had an exercise in mortality. It would pass... but it still clung every once in a while.

E pivoted and took a breath, flexing his slung arm. "One last hurd-" Beeb-eep!

"Huh." E reached down and acknowledged the text, taking a moment to read it.

[Ghost In the Shell. Movie w/me U in? plx rsvp nao.]

E smirked. Fate? E decided e could use a break from the certainty of the warzone and exchange it for the uncertainty of an unknown movie.


[LOL nub. is BTR than Good is gr8.]

Soon after, in the confines of her apartment, cuddled against her in the dark, e stared at the screen, as the words from an animated character seemed to draw out more worth than most things said in the last handful of days.

"There are countless ingredients that make up the human body and mind, like all the components that make up me as an individual with my own personality. Sure, I have a face and voice to distinguish myself from others, but my thoughts and memories are unique only to me, and carry a sense of my own destiny. Each of those things are just a small part of it. I collect information to use in my own way. All of that blends to create a mixture that forms me and gives rise to my conscience.

"I feel confined, only free to expand myself within boundaries."

E could see why this was one of her favoured movies. It was starting to grow on em.

Last Updated: 12/27/2010

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